Two more months and it’s 2015 what the fuck
I swear it was 2012 and we were all freaking out about the world ending like three months ago
My shrimp is so weird like when I touch it, it changes colors and kinda spasms sometimes idk
like it was kinda pinkish and then it turned red and now its yellow
and it has a stripe that wasn’t there before
MY PET SHRIMP
This is worth the read.
cat: places paw tentatively on boob
cat: presses paw down on boob
cat: slowly, agonizingly walks across boobs
Black: I would date you.
Green: I think you’re cute.
Blue: You are my tumblr crush.
Grey: I wish we still talked
Purple: I really love your blog.
Teal: We have a lot in common.
Yellow: FUCK ME, LET’S FUCK.
Orange: I don’t like your blog.
Brown: I don’t like you.
Pink: I think you are unattractive.
Red: I hate you with a burning passion.
White: Marry me.
the rise and fall
you know what would be cool? a show about, like, vigilante Victorian prostitutes hunting down Jack the Ripper.
They never did figure out why he stopped killing. And most serial killers don’t stop unless they are stopped. I’m just saying.
brb writing the script
Unpleasant customers who complain and say they’d rather go somewhere else.